Zoe and Gavin .com

This is what happens when nerds marry

For my podcasting class, I made a skit with Gavin about a blind date that goes pretty horribly. I think it’s one of my funniest works! Tell me I’m right!

It’s 1/2 German and 1/2 English.

The idea is that if you are learning German then you would be able to listen to this as practice. I wanted it to be familiar enough that it would be fun for various levels of German. Zeth told me that he listened to it 3 times, and then he had it all figured out. I hope you like it too!

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

I have to make another one, but I don’t know what the skit should be about! I can’t do a blind date again. What do you think? It has to be banter based, so that you can understand what’s happening from either language.

Give me your ideas!

Update: Here is the script & translation.

Scene: Blind date.  Doesn’t go well.

Gavin:    Excuse me, are you Zoe? I’m Gavin.

Zoe: Oh, hallo Gavin. Ich erkenne dich nicht. Du siehst viel kürzer aus als ich gedacht habe.
Zoe: Oh, hello Gavin. I didn’t recognize you. You look shorter than I thought.

Gavin: I look shorter? But you’ve only seen one photo of me!

Zoe: Ha ha — Stephanie hat gesagt dass du groß warst.
Zoe: Ha ha — Stephanie said that you were tall.

Gavin: Ah, Stephanie. I was very sorry to find out she was already married when we met.

Zoe: Was meinst du?
Zoe: What do you mean?

Gavin: Oh nothing. But if she was still single…

Zoe: …hier ist deine Speisekarte. Ich möchte das Schnitzel mit Spargel.
Zoe: …here is your menu. Ich would like the schnitzel with asparagus.

Gavin: Schnitzel? Do you know the conditions they keep the calves in to make veal?

Zoe: Ich will dass nicht wissen. Kalbfleisch ist lecker.
Zoe: I don’t want to know. Veal is delicious.

Gavin: You sound just like my ex-girlfriend! So stubborn!

Zoe: Entschuldigung, vergleichst du mir mit diene Ex-Freundin?
Zoe: Excuse me? Are you comparing me to your ex-girlfriend?

Gavin: Oh, it’s a compliment, I assure you. She is wonderful … she is quite like our friend Stephanie.

Zoe: Wir wollen nicht über Stephanie sprechen. Hast du die Nudeln mit Erdnuß Soße gesehen?
Zoe: Let’s not talk about Stephanie. Have you seen the pasta with peanut sauce?

Gavin: I’m allergic to peanuts.

Zoe: Also, sollte ich es nicht bestellen?
Zoe: Well, should I not order it?

Gavin: Not unless you would like me to die.

Zoe: (pointed pause). Aber nein! Ich will nicht dass du stirbst. Ich kann einen Cäsarsalat bestellen.
Zoe: Oh no! I don’t want you to die. I can order a caesar salad.

Gavin: Do you have any medical conditions in your family?

Zoe: Warum fragst du mir über meine Krankengeschichte?
Zoe: Why do you ask about my medical history?

Gavin: I’m just wondering what our children would inherit.

Zoe: Unsere KINDER!? Wir haben doch nicht ein mal zusammen gegessen!
Zoe: Our CHILDREN!? We have not even eaten together once!

Gavin: Yes, of course. So… what do you do?

Zoe: Ich bin eine Lehrerin
Zoe: I am a teacher.

Gavin: A teacher? You’re kidding me! My mom used to be a teacher!

Zoe: Deine Mutter hat einen guten Beruf gewählt.
Zoe: Your mother chose a good career.

Gavin: No way — I think it’s a terrible choice.

Zoe: Entschuldigung?
Zoe: Excuse me?

Gavin: All teachers ever do is complain about the students.

Zoe: Ich mag meine Schüler.
Zoe: I like my students.

Gavin: All teacher’s SAY they like their students, but I know how it is. That’s the reason I became a psychiatrist. I want to help people like you.

Zoe: Ein Psychiater? Ich brauche keine Hilfe.
Zoe: A psychiatrist? I don’t need your help.

Gavin: Well, I guess that’s up to you . . .

Zoe: Oh, ich muss meine Handi antworten.
Zoe: Oh, I must answer my cellphone.

Gavin: But I didn’t hear a cell-phone ring.

Zoe: Ich habe, entschuldigung…
Hallo? …. ach nein!! Natürlich! Ich komme jetzt!
Es tut mir leid dass ich muss gehen. Es ist ein Notfall. Ich muss schnell gehen.
Zoe: I did, excuse me…
Hello? …oh no! Of course! I’m coming now!
I am so sorry, I must go. It is an emergency. I must go quickly.

Gavin: What is the matter?

Zoe: Es ist sehr … privat, persönlich. Ich muss gehen.
Zoe: It is very … private. personal. I must go.

Gavin: Can we finish dinner together some other time?

Zoe: Nein. Ich glaube dass mein Notfall wird viel zeiht nehmen. Vielleicht Jahre! Tchus!
Zoe: No. I think that my emergency will take a long time. Perhaps years! Bye!

Gavin: Good bye. . .  *pause*

*Zoe walks away*

Gavin: Imagine an emergency that will take years to deal with. I hope I never have one of those.

3 Responses to “A terrible blind date”

  1. SeanJA Says:

    It would be better with subtitles

  2. SeanJA Says:

    Banter about Banthas?

  3. zoe Says:

    The next one will have some form of subtitles. I put in the script for you to refer to! :)

    I don’t know what Banter about Banthas means…

Leave a Reply