Zoe and Gavin .com

This is what happens when nerds marry

Performed at Victoria Avenue Baptist Church on September 28th, 2008
Inspired by the King James version of the bible. Also 1 John 2:2, 1 Corinthians 14:3 and Matthew 19:14

Martha:
Joey, what does propitiation mean?

Joey:
What? I don’t know.

Martha:
Oh. What does edification mean?

Joey:
I don’t know…

Martha:
Hmmm…. well, what about exhortation?

Joey:
Nope - what are you talking about anyway? Where did you hear these words?

Martha:
From the memory verses we learned for Sunday school today - - didn’t you memorize them!?

Joey:
I did memorize them, but I didn’t see any of those words!

Martha:
Did you memorize 1 John 2:2?

Joey:
I sure did!!

Martha:
“And he is the propitiation of our sins???” What is that supposed to mean?

Joey:
I think it means, “Jesus is the way our sins are taken away.” That’s what my bible says.

Martha:
What? But what about 1 Corinthians 14:3? “But he that prophesieth speaketh unto men to edification, and exhortation, and comfort.” Is that different for you too?

Joey:
It is! It’s “One who prophesies speaks to people. He gives people strength encouragement and comfort.”

Martha:
What about Matthew 19:14? That’s the one that really bugs me, “But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

This one doesn’t even use big words, I know what suffer means! So what’s going on here? Jesus said that in heaven little children get to SUFFER? That doesn’t sound like the kind of heaven I imagined!!!

Joey:
My bible said this, “Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’”

Martha:
What?! That’s not even CLOSE to the same! One of our bibles is TOTALLY WRONG! Someone is going to get in BIG trouble for making a false copy of the bible! What do we do? Should we tell Pastor Miriam?

Joey:
No no! They are the same. Don’t worry.

Martha:
What do you mean they’re the same, you heard it! My version said children suffer, yours said let them come and see Jesus. How is that not a problem?

Joey:
Well, you’re reading the King James Version - it was written like 400 years ago. Not all the words mean the same thing anymore. Like suffer used to mean ‘let’ but now it means - - - well, suffer. Think of Shakespeare. Have you read anything by him?

Martha:
No way! He’s way too hard! That’s why you don’t have to read Shakespeare until high school!

Joey:
Exactly! It’s too hard to understand what it means! And that’s from the same time that the King James Version was written. That’s why I have a children’s bible. Because God wants us to be able to understand what we’re reading, so we should be careful to use a bible that we can understand! Otherwise it’s hard to understand what God is saying to us.

Martha:
A Children’s version? That’s why you didn’t have any of those crazy words to memorize? Why didn’t my mom tell me about this! I’ll have to ask her about it when I get home today. Maybe I’ll memorize verses from King James when I can read Shakespeare!

Joey:
That’s what I was thinking too! Expediently, let’s away, and impart our verses unto our schoolmaster, and offer us for further edification.

Martha:
…whah????

Joey:
Just kidding! Let’s go to Sunday school!
**Exuent**

Martha:
But what did you say?

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